Monday, May 14, 2007

Eating of the boogers

El otro día estaba cenando en casa de unos amigos. En un momento de la noche, los anfitriones propusieron que viésemos una película (Spiderman 3, que por cierto es un soberano disparate). En lo que el host ponía la película, los invitados estaban todos conversando unos con otros, menos yo, que estaba viendo lo que estaba haciendo el host. Este último estaba sentado en el piso, prendiendo el DVD y preparando el resto de los equipos. Tomó el control de la TV y sin verla la prendió. Lo que apareció en la pantalla fue algo muy instructivo, de esos canales "altos" del cable…
La primera que se dio cuenta fui yo. El resto de los invitados estaba enfrascado en conversaciones, las hostess estaba en la cocina
Hmmmmmmmmm
Lesson to be learned: When you are watching porn, change the channel as soon as you “finish” watching, no vaya a ser cosa de que la próxima vez que prendas la TV esté en el mismo canal que la dejaste y tus invitados se den un corto pero intenso curso de cómo tener relaciones con varias personas al mismo tiempo (yes, I watched, I know what was happening, I paid attention… you never know what you might learn from those movies).

-----------------
El Sabado estábamos toda la familia sentada en la mesa del comedor haciendo sobremesa. En ese momento estábamos contando de las “prank calls” que hacen de vez en cuando en el programa “¿Cuál es tu Versión?” y mi hermana ha comenzado a hacer la historia de una vez que llamaron a un campo para preguntar por qué la mayoría de sus habitantes eran bizcos. De pronto mi mamá comenzó a hacer gestos exagerados; todos nos quedamos sin habla. Carmen, la señora que trabaja en casa, es tuerta, y su hermana Antonia, que también trabaja en casa, es bizca. Ambas estaban en la cocina, justo al lado del comedor, y de seguro que estaban oyendo el cuento que estaba haciendo mi hermana.

----------------
My friend had been seeing this guy on and off for some time now. Every time they were together, things always ended on the bad side, partly because she really wasn't interested in going further with the relationship and did not feel like making the littlest effort to keep it on, partly because the guy was VERY needy and eventually but surely started making demands, started acting jealous of my friend's life and ended asking for so much more than what my friend was willing to give.
Now, my friend had endless conversations with the guy, at moments asking him if he had fallen in love with her (after all, all that neediness and demanding just appeared to be things only a man in love, a possessive boyfriend or someone who thought had every right to control and demand did), but he always said that he only wanted to be "friends with benefits". My friend went so far as to tell him about all those things he did which really pissed her off, telling him that those were traits which he shared with her ex boyfriend which had made her take the decision to end that relationship. To cite a few, she hated going to his place because she always had to hide from his parents (he was sneaking her in, at this day and at their age), she hated it when he went out and got drunk and then called her after hours, either expecting her to go out with him at that time (my friend is usually sound asleep by no later than midnight and he liked calling after 4 am) or to make a scene and fight with her. This last one was a situation that was usual with him. He called all the time and then called the morning after apologizing and saying that he would never do it again, but he always ended up doing it over and over again. My friend had been patient with him, but things were getting out of hand (he once started calling on work nights, and even though my friend told him she had to wake up early to go to work, he kept on calling and then made a scene because she ended shutting off her phone).
Some weeks ago they got back to being friends. A few days later, he asked her to be "friends with benefit" once again. She said she wasn't sure, as she didn't want to end up as they had usually done; him being possessive and needy, she feeling trapped and pulled into something she wasn't sure she wanted anymore. She said she didn't know, she had to see how things would develop (the famous "let's see how the cookie crumbles"). Nevertheless, he kept on asking and pressuring, not understanding that she needed time to be sure that he had changed his ways and that she was willing to go into all that turmoil that meant being with him. Relentlessly, he kept on pushing and pushing, until one day she decided she'd give it a shot. When he called to get together, she said she would. Then he asked her to come over to his place (if you paid attention before, she had told him she didn't like going to his place). Once again, nicely, she told him she didn't like going to his place because of all the reasons she had mentioned, but instead of him finding a solution, he got all defensive, saying that that was his situation, that he could not do better and that apparently his situation in life was not good for her and a whole bunch of more bs. She got all surprised and expected something else from him, and when she asked him if he had nothing more to say, he said that everything had been said and the conversation was over.
As I gather, everything was over, right?
WRONG!
Some weeks later, he called her at 4 in the morning (paid attention earlier?). She woke up and got pissed. He called a couple of times again, but she was soooo angry she didn't pick up. Last Saturday he called again, at 4 and at 5 in the morning. As you can imagine, she was now majorly pissed.
What was the need of him calling her? Wasn't the conversation over? Hadn't he already been told that she didn't appreciate him calling her at those times?
She had been pissed for all of Sunday and today. She decided to call him and talk. She wanted to know what the f was going thru his mind and to ask him why he was calling if: a) he was the one that ended the conversation; b) his situation in life hadn't changed; c) as per their last conversation, she was tired of his childish acts, and this try at being friends would be the last one; d) she couldn't give him what he really wanted and e) to ask him to stop calling her once and for all.
So she calls, but he doesn't pick up. She leaves a message, asking him to call her back because she wanted 10 minutes of his time to talk (she wanted to have a nice, civilized conversation). About 10 minutes later he calls back. She picks up and he immediately started rambling about how they needn't need to talk because he was never going to call her back again, that he was sure this was the reason why she was calling him and that there was no need to get together because he would never call her back again, in a completely violent and offensive tone. All she could mutter was "as long as we're clear" and then he said yes and hung up.
WTF?
You're giving attitude to my friend after you were the one that f'd up? You were the a'hole and now you treat her like dirt? You were the one who ended things and then you start drunk dialing at completely inappropriate hours, when you had been told over and over again that those calls at those hours were not welcome?
I hope this time is different from all those times all thru these years when you said you wouldn't call drunk and at those times, and yet you kept on calling and breaking your promise.
You know what? My friend doesn't want you in her life, not even as friends, so please leave her alone. Es más, no es que please, ES QUE LA DEJES TRANQUILA Y YA.
You do not mess with my friend because messing with her is messing with me and you surely do not want to mess with me.
Are we clear?? Are we?

Ya, lo dije. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted? ¿A esto tenía que llegar?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

??????!!

Anonymous said...

Bracuta,

Watching bootleg copies of Spidey 3? Shame on you and your friends.

Siempre hablas de ser buen ciudadano y hacer las cosas "por la ley." Que paso ahi?

Not right.

David

Bracuta said...

You're right David, yo también me comí los boogers.
En mi defensa, nunca he comprado una película pirateada, critico a aquel que lo hace y a aquel que se beneficia de ello.
Se confirma una vez más que soy humana y que estoy muy lejos de la perfección.
;-)

Anonymous said...

Bracuta,

No biggie. Me encanta leerte y admiro mucho tus valores.

Love you tons

:)

David

Anonymous said...

Hola Bra!
No tomaste la inciativa para ver la pelicula, no era tu pelicula, y como bien dices, nunca has comprado una. No entiendo el porque del comment, ni mucho menos el reproche. O sea !!!???!!!
Por otro lado, con respecto a lo que le pasa a tu amiga... Y ese tipo?? si no se aleja con este post, tiene mas problemas de lo que parece. Es patetico su caso...