I could get used to this...

I have always said that I find it very unfair that we have to work 5 days a week and only get to rest 2 days. In my case, I only get to rest (if I do) on Sundays.
See, here’s the deal. I work my tushy off during the week. Even when I get home to rest after a long day at work my parents usually have something for me to do, so I end up with a couple of hours to myself, which I dedicate to eating, bathing and watching my series on TV. On Saturdays I usually wake up and go to the salon and do all the things I couldn’t do on the week. Then my siblings and their families come over and all that. On Sundays my mom insists on interrupting my sleep so that we can go out for lunch, so I basically don’t get to do much resting as I would like to. And let’s not forget I do have a social life so I also go out and hang with my friends as well. This weekend, though, was special…
My parents went to Bávaro for the weekend with a group of friends. They invited me to go, but they were leaving Friday morning and I had to go to work. Furthermore, Saturday was Día de las Mercedes (a Catholic holiday) so everything was closed.
Friday afternoon I left work with such immense happiness. Now, I love my parents, but the thought of not having anyone around me asking to do stuff was just out of this world.
I had forgotten that my brother Fabio for some reason unknown to myself (I told my dad off when I found out), still has keys to our house (he's been married for some 10 years now). He had gone in and taken the newspaper with him. Now, I had strict orders from my mom to save all the newspapers for her and knowing Fabio’s MO, he was going to take it with him and never return it, so I had to bug him until he finally did. I was just in the threshold of catching some zzz’s when he stormed in my room with the newspaper. I promised myself this was not going to happen again.
Saturday morning I woke up at around 7 because I had to let Carmen and Antonia in. I went back to sleep and at around noon I crossed the street to my sister’s in order to see her new bed. After that I went to get some lunch (drive-thru’s rock!), went back home, said goodbye to Carmen and Antonia and LOCKED MYSELF inside.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I heard the phones ringing in the distance, but I had programmed my body not to answer the call of technology. Hell, I didn’t even go near my computer! I picked up some calls from my parents, watched a bunch of TV, cuddled with Bomba, ate, went to the bathroom, took several showers, changed pj’s and went back to sleep.
Sunday was even better! Since I didn’t have to let anyone in, I slept until way past noon. I took a shower and decided to buy lunch/dinner (Chinese and Japanese) at the same time ‘cause I didn’t want to leave the house twice. I cuddled with Dax, ate, watched TV, slept… PARADISE! Early evening I received a phone call from inside the apartment. Fabio had let himself in again without warning, but OH SURPRISE! I had locked the door to the hallway so there was no way for him to go into the bedrooms. JA! ¿CÓMO TE QUEDÓ EL OJO?
Finally my parents returned and I had to pick them up. They immediately started asking for things so I realized my weekend was over.
Highlights of my weekend: I saw a few movies I hadn’t seen, among which I can mention Against the Ropes and Funny Face (I love Audrey Hepburn). I also saw 2 biographical made-for-TV movies (Audrey Hepburn's and Liz Taylor’s). I also saw some movies I had already seen (Private Benjamin, Tequila Sunrise and Titanic among them). Then I saw the season premieres of Charmed, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy (it was either Charmed or Cold Case, so I chose the first).
I tell you, I could really get used to this...

Mean toons

Pepín paga

Cuando estaba en el colegio (allá cerca de la época de los dinosaurios), en el curso éramos un grupo pequeño (21), pero como todo en la vida siempre había un grupo con el cual una más se juntaba. En mi caso, mi “grupito” estaba conformado por Norma, Katherine, Paola y Ailen. Generalmente andábamos de arriba para abajo, haciendo de las nuestras (éramos niñas buenas, pero disfrutamos nuestra juventud).
Un día conocimos a una de las primas de Paola. Ely vivía en Azua con sus padres porque la industria de su papá estaba allá. Inmediatamente hicimos liga y en poco tiempo estábamos dando viajes a Azua los fines de semana para compartir juntas. Generalmente Ely mandaba su chofer a buscarnos el Viernes a la salida del colegio y nos traían el Domingo en la tarde, después de un fin de semana muy divertido. Ciertamente en Azua no había mucho que hacer para nosotras, pero nos la pasábamos hablando disparates en la casa y en las playas y eso era más que suficiente para nosotras.
Recuerdo la primera noche que pasamos en Azua. Fuimos a cenar a un restaurante de mariscos muy famoso en Azua, que está en el borde de la carretera (perdonen mi memoria masculina, pero no recuerdo el nombre). La cena fue excelente y la pasamos muy divertidas. Al momento de pagar, le pregunté a Ely cuánto era por cabeza, a lo que ella me respondió “No te preocupes, Pepín paga”. Aparentemente su papá, don Pepín Barceló, tenía cuentas en todos los restaurantes de la ciudad y había dado órdenes de que cada vez que sus hijos y amigos fueran lo cargaran a su cuenta.
Esto nos pareció muy simpático, ya que cada vez que íbamos a algún sitio “Pepín” pagaba. En esa época recientemente mi papá me había dado un extensión de su tarjeta de crédito, con órdenes de que todo lo que yo quisiera lo cargara a la misma. A partir de la primera noche en Azua y hasta el día de hoy, mi tarjeta de crédito se llama “Pepín”, porque Pepín siempre paga.
Luego de graduarnos del colegio, como es la ley de la vida, las amigas nos fuimos separando poco a poco. Norma se fue a vivir a New York (años después fui dama de honor en su boda), Katherine y Paola se dedicaron a la enseñanza (quién lo iba a decir, 2 de las personas que más detestaban el colegio terminaron trabajando como profesoras), Ailen se fue a vivir a Texas y después a San Francisco y hoy en día es una científica loca que trata con asuntos de clonación y vainas complicadísimas. Ely se casó y se dedicó a su familia. Años después me encontré con ella en la UNPHU mientras yo hacía una de mis maestrías. Estaba bien, ella y José (a quien había conocido en nuestra época de bonche), tenían 2 hijos y estaban muy felices. Años atrás, antes de casarse con José, su familia se había mudado en mi misma calle, pero don Pepín vivía entre Azua y aquí, porque no iba a dejar la industria sola. Por cosas de la vida, nunca nos juntamos, pero siempre guardé un espacio especial en mi corazón para Ely y su familia.
La semana pasada don Pepín falleció. Ni siquiera me había enterado que estaba enfermo. El Martes ví una publicación en el periódico de Cuqui, el hermano de Paola, despidiéndose emotivamente de su tío. Me hice la promesa de por lo menos asistir a alguna de las misas, pero ayer fue la última y no pude salir a tiempo del trabajo para ir.
Descanse en paz, don Pepín. No lo traté mucho, pero su nombre y su recuerdo siempre estarán conmigo, por lo menos hasta que le entregue la tarjeta a mi papá.

Zeuss BBQ

Zeuss BBQ
Originally uploaded by Bracuta.

El Domingo, luego de salir del hotel, pasé por casa del Dr. Zeuss en Juan Dolio, ya que me había invitado a compartir con el y otras personas. Como me estaban esperando, pasé a saludar y ahí conocí a Michelle y vi varias caras conocidas de bloggers dominicanos. Pena que no me pude quedar, pero de verdad les agradezco el haberme invitado.

En la foto el Dr. y Michelle

Shot Masters Tour 2005

Feliz de servirle!
Originally uploaded by Bracuta.

Este weekend pasado me fui para la playa con mis amiguitas Paola y Mariel del trabajo, para el hotel Coral Costa Caribe en Juan Dolio. Fueron con nosotras también Enrique (el novio de Mariel), Luis Miguel, Claudia y su novio Paymaan. Estuve buscando a Paris la primera noche, pero parece que ese día decidió no ir (el hotel es de la cadena Hilton).

Felicítenme pues estoy volviendo a ser un ser sociable, ya que me comí mi timidez y me fui con un grupo de personas con el cual recién estoy compartiendo y la verdad es que la pasé muy chulo.

O SEA! FELIZ DE SERVIRLE!

Estos muchachos son muy nice. Me reí muchísimo y la pasé de lo más bien con ellos. La pena fue que el Sabado tuve que venir a la reunión del AUGRD, pero me volví a ir de una vez, así que sólo presciendieron de mi "agradable" presencia por 3 horas.

Para ver las fotos del weekend, hagan click aquí

Sodom and Gomorrah in the 21st Century...

For the past few weeks I’ve been asking myself what is going wrong with the world.
First was this thing about planes falling from the sky as if they were drops of rain. Then these weird natural occurrences on which we have no say whatsoever. The something occurred to me: is this the beginning of the end?
Do you actually know how many people have died in the last 2 months due to airplane accidents? Furthermore, do you know how many planes have crashed in the past 2 months? Hell, even here in the DR we've had 3 planes crashing down and one that almost did: one that didn’t make it to the runway, one that appeared burnt in the middle of a highway with no apparent reason whatsoever, one involving a stupid bastard that decided to say hi to his girlfriend and flew 6 meters from the ground, taking with him a few power lines, and finally one that had to make an emergency landing.
There is something about these floods, tsunamis and hurricanes that seemed familiar to me somehow. Then, out of nowhere, it came to me: the Biblical story about how God decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because of all the sins and things that were happening there. Then I wondered, has God got something against the US that we don’t know about? Furthermore, has he/she got something against humanity? Is this the beginning of the much feared Apocalypse?
It is no secret that New Orleans is no Vatican City. I mean, come on! Do you think people pray and hold mass during Mardi Gras (beads for every Hail Mary!)? But then again, were the sins taking place there to such amount that God actually decided to “level” it and start over?
I’m no religious freak, but these things really do seem weird to me. We (and by we I mean the DR) are right smack in the middle of the way of the tropical hurricane highway. Whenever a hurricane forms on the coasts of Africa (where Tropical Atlantic hurricanes are usually formed), they usually hit us first (now this "us" refers to the Greater Antilles). Strangely, the past few years, the DR has been graciously spared from these hurricanes (Cuba, Jamaica and Puerto Rico have been hit, but we haven’t), either because they take an "alternate route" or get formed when they have already crossed our territory.
The US, on the other hand, has suffered greatly from our gain. Katrina hit Florida and then devastated Louisiana and Mississippi. A couple of weeks later, Ophelia and today Rita. Need more proof?
When this hurricane season started, the meteorologists from the National Hurricane Center said that this was going to be a busy year, but I guess we didn’t know how busy it was going to be. As everyone knows, the cyclones, tropical storms or tropical depression are named using letters of the Roman alphabet. When all the letters are used, letters from the Greek alphabet are used. We are 4 letters away from going thru the Roman alphabet. This has never happened. NEVER. And we are just 4 letters away from it. (For more weather info, check out National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's (NOAA) Tropical Prediction Center in association with the National Hurricane Center's site)
Anyways, back to the subject. People think we have nothing to do with occurrences of nature, but I disagree. Did God create the hole in the Ozone layer? Did God make us fall into sin? He gave us free will, have we used it correctly? (talk about all that hairspray used in the 80's!)
I believe we are the forgers of our future. I also believe we are given the tools and it’s up to us to make things good.
I was taught that God is a God of love. I was also taught that we should never question his doings because in the end, no matter how bad things may be, everything he does is for a reason and for our own benefit. Yet, I wonder if we have been doings things they way we are supposed to according to his plan.
Well, I hear some horses coming in the distance, so I guess I’d better go gather my things and get prepared for what's to come…

What the…?

This week is series premiere week on TV, so you can imagine how excited I’m feeling.

Last night I got home just in time to watch the premiere of CSI: Miami (Medium was premiering at the same hour as well, but since I need to active local channels in my DirecTV receiver I couldn’t see it and I didn’t feel good so I couldn’t go to the study to watch CSI: Miami while recording Medium in my room).

While on the commercial break, I was browsing channels (it had been a while since I had last checked on Telecable’s programming, aside from my geeks channels). SO here I was: Channel 50, CBS, check. Channel 49, NBC, check. Channel 48, BBC, ch…. WAIT! BBC? WHERE THE HELL IS ABC? HELLO?????
So what is going on here? No ABC? No Alias? No Desperate Housewives? No Grey’s Anatomy? No Lost?
Some might say that maybe one can only wait until Sony Entertainment Television shows them… in November. NOVEMBER!!!! ARE YOU F-ING NUTS?
Who was the one with the bright idea? Kudos to you, A-Hole!
SE COMIERON LOS MOCOS LOS TIGRES DE TELECABLE!

UPDATE:

So apparently ABC is now on channel 77... I'll check as soon as I get home...

Chinese test...

What does it say in the pic below?

Cant' read it? Try pulling your eyes in the sides as if you were Chinese...

Pongamos de nuestra parte y vamos a contribuir con el ahorro

E PA LANTE Q VAMOS… APOYEMOS ESTAS MEDIDAS A FIN DE CONTRIBUIR AL AHORRO..
GOBIERNO RONSTITUCIONAL ROMINICANO
"AÑO DE LA AUSTERIDAD Y LA RECUPERACION "
SEPTIEMBRE 2005-2006
MEDIDAS PARA EL AHORRO COMBUSTIBLE HUMANO
(ALCOHOL DESTILADO) LEASE ALCOHOL O ROMO.

A partir de la puesta en circulación de estas medidas quedan terminantemente PROHIBIDAS las siguientes cosas:

Se prohíbe el TRAGO DE LOS MUERTOS.

Se prohíbe así mismo botar la CERVEZA con el pretexto de que está CALIENTE, todas aquellas personas que no puedan beberse la CERVEZA caliente o con HIELO que no BEBA; o el RON con el pretexto de que está AGUADO el trago.

Prohibido portar CHATAS de RON, cuando se anda en MOTORES, PASOLAS, BICICLETAS ya que puede ocurrir un accidente y romperse la CHATA.

Prohibido a NIVEL NACIONAL el " 3 x 90 "y " 2 x 1", así como también los " OPEN BAR", los días de semana hasta los VIERNES. Los mismos se llevarán a cabo a partir de las 10:00 de la noche de los VIERNES hasta las 4:00 de la madrugada de los DOMINGOS, inclusive.

Prohibido COMPRAR más de 3 FRIAS al mismo tiempo, ya que esta práctica contribuye al calentamiento de las mismas o al desperdicio.

Prohibido colocar VASOS o BOTELLAS en el piso, ya que pueden voltearse o derramarse, o dar lugar a que algún incomprensivo las tumbe o derrame.

Prohibido bañar los GALLOS DE PELEA con RON.

PUEBLO BEBEDOR DOMINICANO ESPERAMOS QUE ESTAS MEDIDAS SEAN ACOGIDAS PRINCIPALMENTE EN LOS SIGUIENTES LUGARES:

LA BEBA
EL "DOGOUT".
EL "HANGAR".
DISCO TERRAZA EL "TIBITABO".
"OUTSIDE".
DISCO SONIDO "EL PEJE QUE FUMA".
NIGHT CLUB "CAMBUMBO".
"FORTUNA" CAR WASH.
"DOLL HOUSE".
"FELIX CACHET".
EL " TOCORORO".
COLMADO "BOMBA".
COLMADO "DUME".
NIGHT CLUB EL "BONSOIR".
PUNTO G.

Aquellos negocios que no acaten o acojan estas medidas serán MILITARIZADOS y SOMETIDOS a la acción de la JUSTICIA ya que estas medidas son dignas del momento de CRISIS que estamos viviendo.

Como parte de las medidas de AUSTERIDAD, decretamos inmediatamente que se beberá CERVEZAS un día y el otro día RON, o sea LUNES, MIERCOLES y VIERNES serán de FRIAS y los demás día serán de RON.

Queremos informar que SUBSIDIAREMOS las BEBIDAS de BAJO CONSUMO, como lo son: la QUISQUEYA EXTRA, LA SOBERANA, así como el BARCELO PITUFO, el RON PALO VIEJO, el CARA DE GATO, el WHISKY DUNBAR, el VINO PIÑA, el PONCHE CREMA DE ORO, y el BARCELO DORADO.

PUEBLO DOMINICANO, APOYEMOS ESTAS MEDIDAS.

NOTA:
ESTAMOS CONSUMIENDO 10,000 LITROS DE RON AL DIA.
15,000 CERVEZAS POR HORA.
200,000 VASOS POR DIA.
7,325 VASOS POR MINUTO.

D'uh!

Estoy muy tranquila en mi oficina trabajando cuando de pronto José Manuel, mi compañero de trabajo, levanta el teléfono y hace una llamada: -" Aló, mami. Soy yo, tu hijo, JM." ¡O SEA! JM es hijo único. ¡Creo que con un simple "aló mami" estaba más que claro quién era!

Dj Ravin @ Taboo Bamboo

DJ Ravin
Originally uploaded by Bracuta.

I had completely forgotten to tell you guys about my last weekend. I went to see DJ Ravin at Taboo Bamboo with some friends. For those of you that don't know, he is one of Buddha Bar's resident DJs.
Rox and I had planned a very long night on Saturday since we also had tickets to Sandra Collins' party at the Autódromo, but since these Buddha Bar parties usually finish early, we figured we could manage to go to both (yes, we are party animals).
The party at Taboo Bamboo was so cool (this man can REALLY mix) we ended up leaving at 4:00 a.m. Using our common sense, it was really not practical and very unsafe for these two little girls to haul ass to the Autódromo at that time, so we decided to grab dinner/breakfast and go to bed. 5 minutes after ordering at Emparedado, in came DJ Ravin and Enriquito Peynado (Taboo Bamboo's owner), so apparently we decided to leave right on time.
Now, I think we have very good timing, since every time we go to a party at Taboo Bamboo we usually end up grabbing a bite at Emparedado and 5 minutes later Enriquito and whichever DJ was playing at his place show up.

In the pic, from left to right, Joselyne, José Manuel, DJ Ravin and Rox.
Tomorrow I will tell you about my plans for this weekend... ;-)

What is your name?

I was commenting with my co-workers the other day that my niece and her boyfriend had gone to Sema (a local store) and found a bunch of t-shirts displaying funny local names. One of them, for example, read “Hello, my name is Yuderkis” and so on. She said they reminded her of me, because I usually give weird nicknames to people and I had given my sister Judith the nick “Yuderkis” due to an internal family joke.
Today, while reading the newspaper at the office (it is part of our work), Jose Manuel was reading the list of school seniors that had been granted scholarships at INTEC. He was reading their names and some of them sounded really funny to him. Now, we were not making fun of anyone, but we were just commenting on how some people actually had weird names that you just couldn’t help but laughing at.
For example, I mentioned how African Americans in the US usually had weird, unpronounceable names like Sharmawonda, L’ Quondania, TeShervillmen TaQualidpanunda and so forth (no offense, but these are really weird names). Jonathan said that these names were used to show pride in their heritage and that usually those were their slave names or African names of their ancestors. To that, I said that it was very nice of them to show pride in their heritage, but that they should consider the rest of the world and try to name their kids in a “user-friendly” manner.
We were all talking about this when I said: “just imagine this: I have Spanish ancestors, so my name must’ve been something colonial of the sort. Granted Enedina is an old Spanish name, but what if I called myself “Bartolomea” (in reference to Bartolomé Colón)? This made us all laugh and we decided that for the day we would use our colonial names instead of the names given to us by our parents.
Today José Manuel is called Ovando (honoring Fray Nicolás de Ovando).
Jonathan is called Lemba (honoring a long lost and unknown African ancestor).
Paola is called Anacaona (honoring the Taino Queen)
My name is Bartolomea.
So, if you want to talk to us today, please call us by our heritage name (Paola kindly made name tags for us to show at our desks).
What would your name be?

Name tags, originally uploaded by Bracuta.

Reunión Apple Users Group RD

El próximo Sabado 17 se celebrará la Reunión del Apple Users Group RD en los salones 204 y 205 de UNIBE, de 4 a 6 de la tarde.
Esta reunión promete ser muy interesante y entretenida. Editarán una película en iMovie y la quemarán en iDVD. También tendremos la presencia de un DJ para el espacio social (porque no todo es computadoras y tech talk... bueno, OK, todo es computadoras y tech talk porque el DJ va a utilizar su Mac, pero para que vean que también bonchamos).
A los miembros del grupo, les recuerdo que ya tenemos disponible en número de cuenta para realizar sus pagos de membresía. Necesitamos su apoyo para poder lanzar el website. El pago de la membresía no sólo servirá para poder resolver lo de la página, sino que les dará varios beneficios (derecho postear en los forums, derecho al uso de la sección de clasificados, derecho de asistencia a las reuniones y otros más) que de seguro serán de su agrado. El costo es sólo RD$1,000.00 por lo que resta del año. Mientras más rápido paguen, más rápido podremos lanzar la página.
Para mayor información sobre los pagos, pueden comunicarse conmigo por esta misma via.

Soy el Blog de la Semana!

Para que los envidiosos se mueran de los celos, Blogs Dominicanos ha decidido nombrarme como Blog de la Semana.

Thank you guys! (Maybe I should thank myself as well since I am part of Blogs Dominicanos, but I swear I wasn't part of this decision...)

My complete RSS feed

Macaruchi commented something about not being able to read my whole posts on her RSS feed reader. I was really stunned because I also do read my blogs via feed readers and being the Narcissist I am, I am also suscribed to my blog and see my whole posts. This posed a challenge for me (and I love challenges).
Apparently my posts only come as a whole when your are suscribed to my Atom Feed, not to my Feedburner Feed.
So, I say, if you want to read my whole post via your feed reader, use my Atom Feed. If you only want to read a part of it, use my Feedburner Feed.

I hope I was able to help!

Living La Vida Loca

I was talking to a friend this week about the strange things we’ve seen in our life. He told me about this experience he’d had hanging out with our group of friends and how he thought our lifestyle resembled something coming out from "Melrose Place" or one of those TV dramas. This came because of an experience he had recently lived at a friend’s place, where I was also present, and which he begged me to comment on.
Some time ago we were at a friend’s, enjoying a Saturday afternoon in a Jacuzzi and with lots of alcohol flowing (which seems to be the common denominator when we get together to unwind). Late in the afternoon, or better yet, early in the evening, there were only 6 of us left, and a couple of our friends were kinda wasted (one of them had been drinking since early in the morning). It suddenly started to rain and 4 of us (M, N, B and me) got out of the Jacuzzi and went inside the gazebo (because we didn’t want to get wet… go figure), while the other 2 stayed in the jacuzzi (G and D). B had a full view of the Jacuzzi and suddenly I started to notice his eyes were fixed at the Jacuzzi and he had suddenly stopped talking. A weird look was showing up on his face so I looked sideways at the Jacuzzi and saw G’s back turned at us and D’s legs up in the air. No one had to tell me what was happening (does anyone need an explanation?), but since B was new to the group he wasn’t used to seeing these things. He looked at me in amazement and I told him “yes, don’t look, just let them be…” He still couldn’t believe his eyes and M and N noticed something was happening as well so they all looked back at the Jacuzzi. An “oh my God, they are crazy” was in the air, but none of us girls were amazed, so we just continued with our conversation. B couldn’t keep his eyes away from the x-rated movie that was taking place less than 5 meters away from us, so I tried to take his mind away from it.
We started commenting on what was happening when we heard some movement. G still had his back at us, but D was now facing him. The continuous movement of water splashing at a steady beat, a little moan from D and their bodies going up and down in unison were a true statement of what was really going on over there. B couldn’t be more freaked out (he was new to the group back then), even more because we were taking things so lightly. After a few minutes (it was apparently a quickie), and some moans later, D came out of the water towards us while G walked into the nearby bathroom. We acted as if nothing had been happening while they gathered their things, said their goodbyes and left with a promise from D to get together with us later that night since we already had plans. It was up to me later to get in the water and open the water disposal thingie because OBVIOULSY none of us wanted to get back in that sex-stricken water.
It is sad how these things happen and we take them as granted. Sad was that G and D were just friends and G’s wife was pregnant at the time. Even sadder, if possible, was they had obviously not used any protection in the water. And we are not only talking about an unplanned pregnancy involving 2 strangers (they were friends, but not close), 1 of them being married and having a family of his own, but the possibility of any disease being transmitted between them or between G and his wife, who was at home taking care of their other baby as well.
A few pointers. First of all, don’t cheat. If you marry someone, do it because you want to be with that person and only that person for the rest of your life. If you’re definitely going to cheat on your husband or wife because you have such a pea-sized brain, don’t do it in front of your friends, who also happen to know your husband or wife. Furthermore, ALWAYS USE PROTECTION. Diseases can’t be seen in people’s faces. That person might look cute and healthy, but if he/she is willing to have unprotected sex with you, there is a big chance he/she had unprotected sex with someone else and so on. And please, don’t try to cover your inner insecurities and/or emptiness by having this type of sex. Sure, you’ll have a good time while doing it, but the aftermath will be much worse than before you did it.

PHISHING!

And they thought I would fall for it!!!!!

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A practical guide to dealing with me.

There seems to be a misunderstanding regarding my communication skills. Since I have many means of communications (I have 7 email accounts, 1 land line, 4 cell phones, a pager and, when Tricom feels like it, am online 24/7 via msn messenger, yahoo messenger, ichat, AOL IM and ICQ), people actually seem to think I am the social type. They don’t realize I don’t and have those things simply because I am a geek. I have no communications skills whatsoever. NONE.
I actually don’t like talking on the phone much, which has brought me many problems in the past. Most of my boyfriends or the men I’ve dated complain that I almost never call and so do my tri-dimensional friends. This is true, I try not to call to much. It’s not that I don’t care about them, it’s just that I find it’s a drag calling someone several times a day for absolutely nothing and I have heard people saying “man, this person calls A LOT” and I don’t want to be THAT person. Come on, really, if I have nothing new to tell you, why do I have to call you 25 times a day? And, if by some weird occurrence of nature I actually do call, whoever I call must understand that I don’t have a way with spoken words so I might not talk much, but it doesn’t mean I’m not into the conversation.
Believe it or not, this has caused relationships to end, drifts to be formed and friendships to be lost, which is why I’ve deviced a scheme to make people understand a little bit about my weird communication abilities or lack thereof:
On the phone:
* Don’t expect me to call. DON’T.
* Don’t get pissed if I don’t call. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss you or that I don’t care about you. I just don’t call.
* If I do call, don’t expect it to last more than 10 minutes tops.
* I will call if I have something to tell you. I will tell you the reason I called, go through the usual “how’ve you been”, “what’s up with you”, “how’s your health”, how’s the family” “how’s your love life”, “did you go to X party”…. Yada yada yada… and then I’ll say “well, talk later then”…
* If you call me, please don’t go “y qué” “qué hay” “cuéntame algo nuevo”. DON’T say “y qué má” several repeated times unless you want to hear me saying “quemá es un cosa prieta que hiede má quer diablo”. It annoys me to death (and this is one of my ex’s favorite phrases).
* DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE repeat “y qué má” over and over again. It bugs the hell out of me. There, I said it twice. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.
* I will call every once in a while (but don’t get used to it).
* Once in a blue moon I will be in the mood of talking and maybe of holding long conversations over nothing. I might even be able to talk all night long about the same bs over and over. But don’t get used to it.
* If I said I’d call, I will. I keep my word.
* Don’t say you did call when you didn’t. All my phones have caller ID. In the unusual event that I was unable to take the call, LEAVE A MESSAGE. I hate it when people say “I called” when I know they didn’t. I understand if you don’t like talking to machines, neither do I, but if you don’t leave a message maybe I won’t call back (I usually check my caller ID and return all the calls I didn’t get).
* I hate unavailable IDs. I HATE THEM. Unless you’re the friggin’ President or some criminal that needs to hide from the police, there’s no need to hide your phone number (I understand if it’s a long distance call though). I don’t pick up calls from “ID unavailable” or “ID private” phones. If there’s no way of changing that in your phone, call and leave a message and I’ll return the call immediately (unless I’m sleeping or in a meeting). (One of the reasons is that my ex has a “ID private” phone and he just doesn’t get that I don’t want to talk to him no matter how many times I’ve told him, hence why I don’t pick up).
* If you have unsolicited love for me and feel the sudden urge to call me between 12:00 am and 6:00 am Sunday thru Thursday, it is probable I won’t pick up. If you leave a drunken message I will definitely not return the call and probable get pissed at you. If your love is solicited, please understand I go to bed early on working days (I need my energy to make some money and no drunken shit is worth me losing sleep hours).
* If you have an accident or are in sudden need to call me for something you consider important, please do. I’m your friend, I will try to always be there for you… do not regard any of the aforementioned rules. No matter the time or the place, I will be there for you. If I don’t pick up, call again, call all my numbers, that way I’ll know it’s something important and do leave a message.

On messenger:
I feel compelled to explain this one more time, so here I go.
* If my nick says “away”, I am. Trust me on that. As my auto-reply at home says “I ain’t here, that’s what “away” means”. I might not be at home, I might be at home but not in front of the computer but still away. (Ana please do not take this in consideration, you have the strange skill to know when I’m at my room but not in front of the computer, so you can send a message whenever you want. Fernando, before talking to me verify my message and don’t get pissed when I don’t reply because IM NOT THERE. If you’re neither Ana or Fernando, please disregard the last 2 comments).
* I have a hard time recognizing when an online conversation has ended, so please don’t be offended if I don’t speak to your for a while, it might be because I though we were done talking.

While driving in my car.
*I tend to keep my eyes on the road and to sing while driving (with very loud music, harmful to my ears). If you see me and wave at me, don’t think I was being a snob and didn’t answer back. I just didn’t see or hear you.
* I like to drive. If you want me to go away on a weekend with you and a group of friends, please be advised I will always drive myself there. If we are going out, I like to drive myself as well (who knows when I’ want to leave? I don’t like bugging people). I don’t mind picking you up, as I said before, I really like to drive.

While somewhere.
* I am very shy. If you see me someplace and I don’t say hi, maybe I’m shy to approach you. Or maybe I haven’t seen you. I’m no snob, so please do approach me.
* I am usually good with faces and names, but since I am fallible, I might forget your name or don’t recognize your face, but please do approach me. I am a very open person.
* I love partying, but sometimes I like to chill. If we are someplace and you see me in a very chilly mood, don’t despair. I have different ways of amusing myself and if I am still at the place it means I am having a good time, so don’t worry. Be assured that as soon as I wanna leave, I most certainly will.

I guess this pretty much covers it. If any questions should arise, please contact the owner…

Even more on me...

Stolen from Libelula’s blog

(1) Your gender: Female last time I checked.
(2) Straight/gay/bi? Straight and proud.
(3) Single? Single, but never alone.
(4) Right now, you want to be? At home, in bed, watching TV and cuddling with Bomba.
(5) Your birth day: Jan 18 of every year.
(6) Age you act: It all depends. At work I act my biological age. As soon as I leave the office, I’m around 25.
(7) Age you wish you were: 17, in school and not worrying about paying mortages and credit card bills,
(8) Your height: 5’ 7’’
(9) The color of your eyes: Brown
(10) Happy with it? Very much so.
(11) The color of your hair: I can’t really recall. I think it was kinda brown before I turned 15, but I’d have to check my photo album and see.
(12) Happy with it? With what? My natural color? Of course, I’m happy being a blonde “de farmacia”.
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous? Right, but strangely attracted to left-handed people.
(14) Your living arrangement? Dad, mom, 5 cats, 4 birds, 5 fish… I guess that’s it.
(15) Your family: My rock.
(16) What's your job: I checked my ID and it says I’m a lawyer, so I guess I am.
(17) Piercings? 1 in each ear.
(18) Tattoos? Never had the guts to get one done.
(19) Obsessions? Too many to tell.
(20) Do you speak another language? I currently speak English, Spanish, a little French, Cibaeño and bullshit.
(21) Favorite quote: “Soy pobre, pero honrada.”
(22) Do you have a web page? My blog and my photoblog.

DEEP THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE AND YOU IN IT
(23) Do you live in the moment? It just went by.
(24) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? Too much sometimes. I take a lot of bs from people.
(25) Do you have any secrets? A shitload.
(26) Do you like your handwriting? I love it (I do have nice handrwitting).
(25) Do you have any bad habits? Another shitload.
(26) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? I guess it would be called “Full frontal on the fast lane”.
(27) What's your biggest fear? Being left alone.
(28) Can you sing? I do, mostly while driving in my car (I used to be in choir at school). Am I good at it? Yeah, right…..
(29) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? No need, I’m cool enough as it is.
(30) Are you a daredevil? Lemme see… do bungee jumping and skying down a very steep slope only a year after back surgery qualify as being a daredevil?
(31) If you were another person, would you be friends with you? ‘Till the end of time.
(32) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? Lots of things, but being that too many mean people read this blog I will most certainly not put myself out there for others to criticize or judge me.
(33) Are you passive or aggressive? Very much the passive type.
(34) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose? Love, because it makes the World go round.
(35) Do you think you are emotionally strong? Not in the slightest.
(36) Do you think life has been good so far? So far, so good. Still a long way to go…
(35) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? Sadly, never trust anyone, not even yourself and that we were born alone and alone we’ll die.
(36) What do you like the most about your body? My fingernails and my legs (I have very nice legs than you very much).
(37) And least? You’d love to know, don’t you?
(38) Do you think you are good looking? Honestly no, but people have told me I am and I believe in people so I guess I am.
(39) Are you confident? I wish I were.
(40) What is the fictional character you're most likely to fuck? The guy that drove “El Gran Dragón del Espacio”, who was also the guy in “El Gladiador”, “Supermagnetrón”, “El Galáctico” and “Terry” from “Candy Candy”… he’s hot!

DO YOU...

(41) Smoke? Certainly not grass.
(42) Do drugs? No illegal ones.
(43) Read the newspaper? 3 physically, around 5 online.
(44) Pray? Every single day, several times a day.
(45) Go to church? Not as much as I’m supposed to.
(46) Sleep with stuffed animals? I sleep with Bomba, and eventhough she’s an animal, she’s certainly not stuffed (unless she had dinner right before we went to bed).
(47) Talk to a person that hates you? Someone hates me???

HAVE YOU EVER...

(48) Liked your voice? I do.
(49) Burped? Not un public (unless it’s joking).
(50) Been in love? Twice.
(51) Done drugs? Not that I’m aware of.
(52) Gone skinny dipping? If you really must know, yes, I have…
(53) Had a surgery? Quite a few actually.
(54) Ran away from home? No reason to.
(55) Played strip poker? I think I did (I stink at poker).
(56) Been picked on? Repeatedly.
(57) Been on stage? And on the spotlight!
(58) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath? I’ve never fainted due to drunkness and I usually have good breath (unless I’ve had huge amount of garlic and/or onions).
(59) Talked on the phone all night? And had fun while doing it.
(60) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? Many times.
(61) Slept all day? My favorite sport.
(62) Killed someone? Aside from Jimmy Hoffa (whose remains I have secured in the trunk of my car), not lately.
(63) Made out with a stranger? Ji ji ji! Yes.
(64) Had sex with a stranger? Nope. I’m a virgin.
(65) Kissed the same sex? On the cheek and on the forehead is as far as I'm willing to go.
(66) Done anything sexual with the same sex? Does talking about sex count? I’m sorry, I’m just not attracted to the same things I have.
(67) Been betrayed? Too many times…
(68) Had a dream that came true? They call me “The Seer”.
(69) Have you ever killed an animal by accident? Some ants, a couple of roaches (when I’ve had the guts to actually kill them). Animals are gifts from God (aside from roaches, they have been sent by the Devil to ruin my life).
(70) Been on radio/TV? A few times.
(71) Had a nervous breakdown? I have, but I’ve been able to survive them.
(72) Been criticized about your sexual performance? I’ve actually been praised about it (call me Ms. Modesty if you must).
(73) Had a dream that kept coming back? Yup.

CLOTHES AND FASHION

(74) Favorite Shoe brand: Reebok.
(75) Favorite brand of clothing: The Gap.
(76) Favorite Cologne/Perfume: Calvin Klein’s “Obsession”, United Colors of Benetton's "Colors".
(77) What do you normally wear to school/work? Suits.
(78) Do you wear hats? Baseball caps.
(79) Do you wear make-up? Some light make-up for work. I like the impression it makes when I really do wear make-up, people get stunned by my artificial beauty!

BELIEFS

(80) Do you believe in life on other planets? I actually come from the Delta Quadrant.
(81) How about Miracles? I’m one.
(82) And Astrology? Nah, bs to me….
(83) Do you believe in Magic? I wouldn’t be able to cope if I didn’t.
(84) God? We are best pals. He’s my everything.
(85) Satan? Unju.
(86) Do you believe in Santa? Right on! I’m even close friends with one if his elves!
(87) Ghosts? Hell yes!
(88) Luck? I have lots of it (good and bad).
(89) Love at first sight? Sorry, I don’t.
(90) Witches? Yes, hence why I watch Charmed.
(91) Do you wish on stars? Everytime I see one shooting in the middle of the sky.

LOVE AND ALL THAT

(92) Do you remember your first love? Yes. He still calls me (and it bugs the hell out of me).
(93) Still love him/her? Noooooooo! The bastard cheated on me with someone very close to me!
(94) Do you consider love a mistake? Not really, but I’ve wasted too much precious time on it.
(95) What do you find romantic? Just being close to that special someone.
(96) Do you base your judgment on looks alone? NEVER.
(97) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel? Very flattered, but I would never play with their feelings so I'd never lead them on.
(98) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going on a blind date? I’m not very keen to blind dates.
(99) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out? No, I’m old fashioned in that manner.
(100) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive? Yup.
(101) What is best about the opposite sex? Everything!
(102) Are you in love? Not at the moment, but I wish I were. I’m afraid I’ve developed a resistance to love and it scares me.
(103) Do you consider your significant other hot? I don’t have a specific significant other at the moment.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

(104) You wanted to kill? Some idiot driving on the wrong way in a one way street this morning on my way to work.
(105) That you laughed at? Last night at Paola, but we were joking.
(106) That laughed at you? I can only remember his face while I was beating him down, so I don’t recall the name.
(107) You went shopping with? I usually do my shopping online, but a few weeks ago Loli and I went bra shopping.
(108) That broke your heart? F broke my heart and it has never healed since (and I DON’T have feelings for him any longer)
(107) To disappoint you? A couple of people this week.
(109) To brighten up your day? My co-workers on Tuesday, when they left the “We love you” messages of my computer monitor.
(110) That you thought about? In a “romantically” manner? It’s been ages since I thought of one in that way, but I just thought of my mom right now if it counts.
(111) You saw a movie with? Loli.
(112) You talked to on the phone? I just called my sister’s and the maid answered the phone.
(113) You saw? I’m seeing Pao right now.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU

(114) Smiled? When I came into the office after lunch.
(115) Laughed? Last night I laughed a bunch.
(116) Cried? Last night as well.
(117) Bought something? Yesterday.
(118) Were sarcastic? This morning.
(119) Hugged someone? Mariel last night.
(120) Talked to an ex? 2 minutes ago.
(121) Watched your favorite movie? Sunday night.
(122) Had a nightmare? Tuesday night I dreamt I was back together with F and we had eloped to Paris. I woke up sweating and disgusted at myself.
(123) Talked on the phone? 3 minutes ago.
(124) Listened to the radio? I’m listening to MSN radio as I type this.
(125) Watched TV? At lunch.
(126) Went out? Out, out? Last night (I’m having a very busy social life lately).
(127) Helped someone? I picked up my parents from the doctor’s yesterday.
(128) Were mean? Eventhough I try not to be mean ever, I must admit I was kinda mean this morning to someone.
(129) Saw a movie in a theater? A couple of weeks ago.
(130) Said "I love you"? Can’t remember (sad, isn’t it?). Well, the other day I was in a very happy mood when I got home and went in my parent’s room and told them I loved them (they thought I was mortally ill or something bad had happened).
(131) Missed someone? I miss a couple of people right now and I hope they miss me as well.
(132) Had a serious conversation? An hour ago.
(133) Got drunk? Friday, but not drunk drunk. I can’t remember the last time I got really drunk.

ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

Y seguimos

Este me la mandó Maritza:

El alcalde de Nueva York pide licitaciones para pintar la fachada del Ayuntamiento, y le entregan 3 ofertas (un dominicano, un gringo y un chino). La del chino asciende a 3 millones de dólares, la del gringo a 6 millones, y la del dominicano 9 millones. Ante tales diferencias, se entrevista con los ofertantes, por separado, para que justifiquen su estimado de costo.

El chino le dice que él usapintura acrílica para Exteriores en dos capas, y que cuesta 1 millón; en andamios, brochas, equipos y seguros se va otro millón, y el otro millón restante es la mano de obra.

El gringo justifica su estimado diciendo que él es mejor pintor, que usapintura de poliuretano con tres capas, cuyo costo asciende a 3 millones. En andamios, otros materiales, equipos y seguros se gasta otros 2 millones, y el millón es la mano de obra.

El último, el dominicano, es entrevistado para que justifique su oferta y le dice al Alcalde: los 9 millones se dividen de la siguiente manera: 3 millones para usted, para que nos dé el contrato; 3 para mí y los otros 3 son para el chino para que haga el trabajo.